A Meaningful Book for Beginning the Healing Process

By Roger Foisy on December 20th, 2012

Because we have grieving clients who have suffered the devastating loss of a loved one, we have begun to provide complimentary copies of this helpful book, I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye by Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, PhD.

Highly Readable and Sensitively Written

The twenty-four chapter book contains much helpful information and advice that is personable and conversational, highly readable and sensitively written.  The authors importantly acknowledge at the outset that no one can “explain the impact of tragic death who has not experienced it firsthand.” 

The book was written, they say, to provide light for those who are undergoing the “questioning, the disorientation, [and] the helplessness that arises.” 

Real People, Real Stories

Perhaps of greatest comfort to our clients is that the book includes real stories from people who have suffered similarly and have grieved—and continue to work through the grieving process.  The authors write that “recovery from a major, sudden loss is a lifetime process” and one that cannot be rushed.

The authors themselves have also suffered and interweave their own stories into the tapestry of the other voices.  Through their own experience and rigorous research they recognize that through the process of sharing with other empathic people, the meaningful process of healing is enacted: “It is through these stories we step out of isolation and into a community where others are walking the maze of recovery with us.”

The Reader’s Journey

A wonderful aspect of the book is the way it’s structured.  It can be sampled in any order, depending on the reader’s need and interest.  Some readers find immediate comfort by absorbing the real stories of others first.  Others find comfort in reading the important chapter on myths and misunderstandings first. 

Those readers who have only just recently experienced grief appreciate reading the advice about living through the first ten days.  The book values the reader’s journey by imparting advice for dealing with upcoming holidays, how to rejoin social groups, and provides simple yet effective exercises for the expression of grief, like keeping a “dream journal,” which “can open up new avenues to healing.”

Remembering and Redefining

The book valuably counsels the grieving—of all ages and circumstances—to remember that they don’t have to “let go of who they are.”  Instead, they need to allow their lives to “fluctuate in form,” without regret or recrimination.  In doing so, they are “offering the greatest tribute to the one [they] have lost.” 


Roger R. Foisy, a lawyer for the people, practices personal injury and disability insurance law in Ontario. Contact us today.

Roger Foisy